Ponos. It’s a word used by many Eastern Fathers of the Church. In itself, the word means simply fatigue. But in a spiritual situation it describes the state of having the will to do God’s will and, through all this, becoming fatigued to the point of being unable to go on farther. And what a blessing that is! For it is then, when our guard is down and the caverns of our soul and body have been dug deep, that there is time and space and a means for God to enter, not just in bits and pieces and as we consciously allow it, but in a flood that surpasses our own consciousness and control.
In early 1949, in a letter to a fellow Redemptorist brother, Marcel Văn writes about this ponos, this fatigue to the point of being unable to go on, but in which the space for peaceful, contemplative abiding with Jesus is made:
I see that Jesus conducts himself with us as a craft little boy. He lets us first cry ourselves to satiety; then he loads us with work until there remains no more time to show ourselves demanding. And then he can rest peacefully…!
As always, Marcel puts it in simple terms: How good and crafty of Jesus to load us down, once we make the tears to show that we are willing. Then, he, Little Jesus, gets a break while we’re loaded! He can rest peacefully in our heart. He doesn’t need to keep knocking at the door of our hearts. He can enter and abide. The space for peace has been made. The caverns for contemplation have been dug in us, made more supple by the drippings of repentant and sweet tears, and opened wide by the fatigue undergone in obedience.
Some related posts:
Contemplative in the Mud 