Is it evil to want to die? It all depends on whether one accepts the will of God or not.
To want to die and not accept the will of God – God forbid!
To want to die to be more closely united to God, knowing that we could only die in this life and see God if we kept in God’s will – this is something that can happen to us. We may want to die to see Jesus face to face, in the consummation of the Beatific Vision in Heaven. We may want to end the suffering and just go straight to God, not because we are afraid of the suffering, but because we want to see God. As long as all rest on God’s will and all is chosen for what is good, this is a really possible situation.
Descriptions go back to Saint Paul, who talks about preferring to die than to live:
For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling… Yes, we do have confidence, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Cor 5:1–2, 8)
Saint Teresa, offering a testimony of her own life lived in union with the Holy Trinity, says:
This surrender to the will of God is so powerful that the soul wants neither death nor life, unless for a short time when it longs to die to see God. But soon the presence of the three Persons is represented to it so forcefully that this presence provides a remedy for the pain caused by His absence, and there remains the desire to live, if He wills, in order to serve Him more.
To die – but first, first in time, and first in the sense of above all, to do the will of God, for he knows what he permits and he knows what he wills. God`s purposes served in our neighbour, in his Church, in our time here below in communion, though veiled, with Heaven.
To give up – but to not give up at all, to turn towards the ever-active, ever-giving, overflowing will of God to make it done on earth.
Some related posts:
Contemplative in the Mud 