When I was going through the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, my instructor told me (I paraphrase, of course), “Saint Augustine! He got to sin greatly before his conversion!” She spoke as if this was somehow something to be envious of, if envy could ever be permitted. At the time, I thought this was simply nonsense and it scared me. I couldn’t internalize it. Be jealous of sin? Wasn’t I, the convert, trying to escape sin?

But, of course, there was something true in my instructor’s words. She was not expressing a longing for sin. She was expressing a longing for being able to remember, with horror, one’s “great” sins.

It was Augustine himself who spoke of the happy fault which springs into the Exsultet. There is something true about this. We are not all “big” sinners. Some of us only ever feel to be “little” sinners. We did not wander away and squander everything. We did not trample a gift given under foot, not so much, not so totally, so it feels. And indeed it might be true if some of us have never committed a mortal sin. Or, if we think we have committed mortal sin, the feeling may still seem true if we never publicly and openly did so.

How can a fault be happy? Remembering our horrible, deep, wounding sins can be a cause for love, a closer examination of our littleness, and a closer clinging to God. That’s one of the layers of meaning to today’s Gospel.

In today’s Gospel, we hear,

Jesus spoke up and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” “Teacher,” he replied, “speak.” “A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he cancelled the greater debt.” And Jesus said to him, “You have judged rightly.” (Lk 7:40–43)

And:

“… her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.” (Lk 7:47)

May we all become more aware of what we have done and what we have failed to do. It’s cause for love!